Mother’s Day… Re-imagined.

For most of you, and for your parents and your grandparents, mother’s day has always been around.  It’s not a religious holiday or a pagan holiday, and it started out with the best of intentions.  One woman wanted to pay homage to one mother, he own mother, hence the spelling, mother’s day, not mothers day.  But of course, like many things in this country and society, it was bastardized and wrapped in pretty packages, covered in flowers, cards and trips to golden coral.

If you want to know the sad truth behind it, check out this link:

http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/happy-mother-day-cruel-history-innocent-holiday-article-1.3160422

But this all leads to a conversation that I have had with my boyfriend many times; when it comes to holidays, there is no rule or law that says we have to celebrate for the reason that it was initiated, or for the reason that it is currently known for.

This may seem silly and naïve to some, but I think you can remake and re-imagine any holiday the way you see fit, as long as it make you happy and doesn’t harm anyone else.

There are greek and roman festivals thought to be in celebration of mothers, like mother’s day; and they have been celebrated for thousands of years.

I guess what I am trying to say is, do not give in to the commercialism, but instead, revel in the spirit of the day.  Yes, it can be a day of thanks, but more than that, it can be a day of quiet reflection.  A time for children of a cognitive age to reflect on the all the times mom made them happy, made them sad, lifted them up, disciplined them, and comforted their broken hearts.  Not all mothers are ideal, and not all mothers are cut out for parenting, but I think optimistically, 90% of mothers do the best they can, especially since we are operating without a net.

The relationship between mother and child, son or daughter, is not an easy one.  It will always be a direct clash between independence and guidance.  Hopefully, on days like this, we children can stop a moment and say, I understand what you’ve been getting at mom, and I know that you tried.

Anyway, I’m rambling.  Of course, I’m a mom and a child, with powerful and intricate dynamics on both sides of the coin; dynamics that I can never explain in words; the emotions are just too numerous and run to deep.

So for all of you, who can hold your mom in your arms, and for all of those, who can only hold her in your memories, Happy Mother’s Day.  May a smile and a tear warm your heart today.

 

PS:  Don’t feel left out daddies.  Believe me, I will give you your due on Father’s Day.  I think that would be fair.

 

 

Introducing “A Haven Amidst Perdition.”

For those of you who follow my blog, first of all, let me say thank you for doing so.  And second of all, you ‘may’ have noticed that I have not been posting as much as I once did.  I have given explanations and occasional update informing you all that I was in the process of publishing my first book.  In comparison to some many other heartfelt ventures, this one has proceeded fairly smoothly.  There were four tedious rounds of editing, even though, I have read and edited this novel countless times, much to my dismay.  And after few, brief internal struggles and some out of pocket expense, my first novel has been published and is available for purchase.

Presenting “A Haven Amidst Perdition.”

A Haven Amidst Perdition

I am so thankful to all those who have supported me through words and deeds (donations).  But more than that, I have encountered so many who appreciate my writing and have been pushing for this, maybe for far longer than I have.  Thanks Sedrik for all of your suggestions, and listening and re-listening to me tell this tale to you, over and over again. (Yes, the repetition of that statement is on purpose.)

For all of you, who have enjoyed reading my prose and my points of view on various topics, I hope that you may find it in your heart (and your wallet) to take the time to indulge in this read, and grow to love the characters as much as I do.

Of course, it is available via Amazon, Barnes and Nobles, as well as Outskirts Press, and these links will be listed below for your convenience.

And once again, thank you to all for your kind words and encouragement!

https://www.amazon.com/Haven-Amidst-Perdition-Sidra-Owens/dp/147878668X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1494604537&sr=8-1&keywords=a+haven+amidst+perdition

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/a-haven-amidst-perdition-sidra-owens/1126303853?ean=9781478786689

https://outskirtspress.com/sidraowens

 

-If you have enjoyed my commentary or my short stories, then please check out my youtube channel, The Wicked Orchard; where you can listen to me read my short stories

-And don’t forget to check out Comparative Reasoning here on wordpress for written commentary on a whole hosts of topics.

-If you’d rather listen than read, definitely check out Comparative Reasoning on youtube, where you’ll hear of earful of social, economic and political commentary.

 

Breathe

Days pass, one at a time.

Steps are taken, one at a time.

Breaths inhaled, one at a time.

Why must thoughts come in battalions?

Why must we be overrun with the desire for frivolities that drive us to distraction?

Feverish wants consume our days and seep into our nightly dreams.

What joy could be had if a thought were like a breath?

A source of rejuvenation.

Full and complete.  Nourishing.

Revitalizing.

Instead of scooping out an endless cavernous hole of ambitions unfulfilled.

Each thought taken like each breath.

Explored from beginning to end, complete in its entirety.

We can close the gate of cognition;

Allowing the battalion to enter single file;

One day at a time;

One step at a time;

One breath at a time.

 

 

Breathe

Days pass, one at a time.

Steps are taken, one at a time.

Breaths inhaled, one at a time.

Why must thoughts come in battalions?

Why must we be overrun with the desire for frivolities that drive us to distraction?

Feverish wants consume our days and seep into our nightly dreams.

What joy could be had if a thought were like a breath?

A source of rejuvenation.

Full and complete.  Nourishing.

Revitalizing.

Instead of scooping out an endless cavernous hole of ambitions unfulfilled.

Each thought taken like each breath.

Explored from beginning to end, complete in its entirety.

We can close the gate of cognition;

Allowing the battalion to enter single file;

One day at a time;

One step at a time;

One breath at a time.

 

 

We Are All Animals!

We Are All Animals!

Humans, as a whole, like to think that they are one step above every other species on the planet.  Or many more steps than that to be honest.  And that just isn’t true.  We are animals, like frogs, dogs, cats, bats and the millions of other creatures that exist on this planet.

For my first point, all animals in the animal kingdom are prone deception.  I was discussing this point with my mate yesterday.  Our daughter is in the stage of life, where she has figured out that lying may get her out of trouble or it may get her what she wants.  Much to our benefit, she is bad at lying, so it easy to catch her and keep her accountable for her behavior and decisions.  This stage of life is true of all children, and I very much believe that it is up to parents to instill, honesty and accountability, so that there are not a bunch of lying ass adults running around in 10-20 years.

Another example of animal dishonesty is the Cuckoo Bird.  They are brood parasites.  They find another bird’s nest, full of eggs and lays its own egg in it.  So that when the nests owner returns it hatches its own eggs and the cuckoo’s egg.  When the Cuckoo egg hatches, the bird is usually significantly larger and taking up all of the resources from the other baby birds, who are where they are supposed to be.

There are other bird species, where the female will accept a slew of gifts, during mating season, from male birds that she knows she won’t give a shot, too.  But why not get free food from everyone and mate with the only stud bird flying around.

Lions and other predators have to creep, sneakily to ambush, warthogs or gazelles or any other prey animals.

And prey animals will alert other prey animals to the activity of predators, infringing on another common rule of life, which is to mind one’s own business.

The point that I am finally coming around to is that unfortunately dishonesty and deception is just par for the course for us Earthlings, but fighting against that, is the one thing that makes humans stand out from the rest of the animal kingdom.  It doesn’t make us better, but it does put us in a place where it does not have to be a dog eat dog world.

Follow the golden rule! (Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you; for those of you who don’t know it.

Be honest.  Be accountable.  Set the example for those around you and may your nest be filled with all of your own eggs in return.

 

Welcome Spring!

Welcome Spring!

If you can see the image above, you may agree that it epitomizes the transition from winter to spring, or at least it used to.  This transition is far muddier than it used to be due to climate change.  For the entirety of the winter, our temperatures have been fluctuating from fall temps to spring temps to bitter cold and cycling randomly since before the arrival of winter.

So, in the context of the image above, the rabbit would get close to leaping into the vernal warmth and joy of the coming season, but lady spring would yawn, blink her eyes a little and then doze back off into sleep.

Since the ‘official’ start of a calendar spring kicked ofk yesterday, maybe she’ll snap awake and stretch out her arms, bringing bees, birds, beauty, pollen and storms, with as much wonder and suffering as one season can muster.

This time of year is also another opportunity to implement change.  It has been just over three months since the change of the new year, and maybe your resolutions have failed.  If you are not want to believe that change can come any day, then you can view spring as that next opportunity to do it better for the rest of the year.

Here’s to blooming, beauty and change!

 

 

Naysaying: An Affliction Concerning Rightness and Validation

We are a society of naysayers.  We are likely to shoot down an idea, no matter how great it is, simply because the idea was not our own.  Unfortunately, most of us have a strong attachment to being right, and two things can happen as a result. 1. You will say anything to be right.  No matter how ignorant or stupid or degrading, as long as you are lording over someone in your rightness, you are satisfied.  2.  One who may takes strong offense when others do not accept their suggestions or their rightness, especially when compared to the accepted rightness of other.  Both fortunately and unfortunately, individuals are individuals.  They mostly likely will not always listen to each other, and if they do, they may listen to the right thing at the wrong time.  Often times, many people fight so hard out of childhood to gain their autonomy, the thought of someone constantly directing them, as a parent would, is akin to forcible de-evolution, and they strongly resist.  And this resistance may not always be cognitive or conscious.  What one must determine, is whether or not someone is forcing their rightness onto you in order to control you or in order to be helpful, and validate themselves.   This second variety is trickier; because with the first kind, if you don’t listen to them, they’ll get mad and then try to control at a later date, but when it comes to the latter, if you don’t listen, they feel like less of a person and not valued.  The truth is, that person is valued, but often times, people want to navigate their own issues and feel their own validity.  I think it is virtually impossible to validate one’s self and another individual all at the same time.  Someone is going to feel slighted.  Communication is the answer.  (Isn’t it always?) You have to communicate with those that matter around you to navigate the pitfalls of rightness and the twist and turns of validation.  You have to express that just because you to don’t dance like a puppet on a string, when you receive their suggestions, it doesn’t mean that you view them with any less value.  People often have to learn and receive in layers.  And truthfully, sometimes people are not mentally ready to receive information that might be helpful, especially if they are processing their own ideas.  The best thing to do is recognize that you are processing your own ideas, and relay that to the one who is making the suggestion.  And if you are the one offering a suggestion, receive that information, understand it, and give them the time they need to go through their mental processing.  They may come to you needing your help, they may come to you to explain what they have come up with, or, maybe not.  I think either way, it can be fine.  It eliminates the sense that someone is trying to control you and cultivates the sense that they are extending potentially helpful advice.

Truthfully, when it comes to raining down your rightness on someone else, it is usually about wanting to feel important.  Life makes you feel out of control and unimportant in so many ways on a daily basis; so it is understandable, sometimes, when people are unwavering and forcibly trying to assert their own importance on the necks of others.

What a dichotomy we are as a society.  All the time, we are told to be an individual, questions authority, rebel, revolt, go your own way.  But when it comes to one-on-one interactions, people get riled when others don’t listen to and follow there every utterance.  It gets hard to trust yourself, and when you turn yourself into a drone, floating on the whims of others, you are profoundly looked down upon.

It’s a social, personal and emotional tightrope we all must walk.  I think openness and understanding may be the only way across.

 

Now Loading…

In case you’re wondering, the title is fitting.  I am now loading; currently waiting; in a holding pattern.

For those of you who have been following me, I have been in the process of self-publishing my first book.  I’ve submitted my manuscript, chosen my cover, written the back cover and author bio and now, production has begun.  From what I understand, production takes some time, so it’s a matter of having to hurry up and wait.  So, in an abstract way, I am picturing myself staring at a now loading screen for a RRMORPG with a slow internet connection.

But truthfully, there are tons of things that I can do in the meantime and this post is one of them.  Since I am self-publishing, that means that I am self-marketing as well.  I do not have a degree in marketing or advertising, so I am beginning at square one, but that doesn’t matter because at least, I am beginning.

I have the email addresses of all of my closest friends, some acquaintances and of course, family, and I have emailed back and forth with a few of those who follow my blog.  But for those of you who would not mind an email update when my book is published and available for purchase, I would love it if you could visit my contact page and shoot me an email.  The link for my contact page is below.

Once my book is complete, I plan to arrange a free giveaway of no more than eight copies of my novel and I would love to be able to include those of you who take the time to read what I post.  And I promise, I will not be sending you recipes, chain letters or pictures of Donald Trump on Kim Kardashian’s body.

 

Contact/Gofundme Campaign

-If you have enjoyed my commentary or my short stories, then please check out my youtube channel, The Wicked Orchard; where you can listen to me read my short stories

-And don’t forget to check out Comparative Reasoning here on wordpress for written commentary on a whole hosts of topics.

-If you’d rather listen than read, definitely check out Comparative Reasoning on youtube, where you’ll hear of earful of social, economic and political commentary.

 

Work In Progress

So, for those of you who do follow me, I have not been posting much.  Just here and there.  And there are multiples reasons for that.  First of all, life just happens, and you get caught up in work and home and attending to the needs of those you hold most dear, as well as yourself.  But all that aside, I am currently in the middle the self-publishing process for my very first novel.

I had to go back through it and re-edit, of course, but now I have been working out the details of the book layout and I am super, super excited.  Granted, a lot of this process has been sitting and thinking.

I had to come up with a back cover, which wasn’t too incredibly difficult, and then I had to do a headline for the back cover, which was difficult, especially since I had no idea what that was.  Then there was designing the front cover, finding the right image, and the right color, but the hardest part was the author bio.  Author biographies are always difficult, at least for me, because you have to consider what you want to say about yourself.  Your first thought is…  There’s nothing to say.  Admittedly, this is my first book.  I haven’t won any awards, no writing contests, nothing to pad my literary resume and make someone say, “Hmm, she seems promising.”  I just have stories to tell; characters that are just bursting at the seams to express themselves.  So after days of pondering what I should put in the author bio, discussing it with my made, and swimming through the drowning pool of self-doubt, I decided to use my author bio to brief touch on the source of my inspiration, rather than a bullet point list of accolades (which don’t exist anyway).

I checked so many websites trying to explain what an author bio should be, or what a back cover should be, and honestly, they are all appealing to the wants of a traditional publishing house.  Since I am not going the traditional avenue, I thought, “Screw it.  I’m gonna do what bests fits me and this manuscript.”

As I indicated above, I am super excited.  I think my excitement grows as each step in the process goes by.  I will be making updates until the finished product is available.

I will be doing this repeatedly for a long time, but I want to extend my profound thanks to all of those who have supported me, both in words and in deeds, by donating to my gofundme.  I never would have been able to do any of this without you.

 

-If you have enjoyed my commentary or my short stories, then please check out my youtube channel, The Wicked Orchard; where you can listen to me read my short stories

-And don’t forget to check out Comparative Reasoning here on wordpress for written commentary on a whole hosts of topics.

-If you’d rather listen than read, definitely check out Comparative Reasoning on youtube, where you’ll hear of earful of social, economic and political commentary.

Happy Everyday Day!

Two Days Removed…

We are two days removed from Valentine’s Day, and the world has returned to the hum drum hustle and bustle that we are always inundated with.

This may not be the most uplifting post.  I am not against Valentine’s Day, I just want to discuss how, for those who are truly in love, Valentine’s Day is unnecessary.

Like most every holiday we celebrate in this country, Valentine’s Day is highly commercialized and seems to only work in favor of females.

On Tuesday, I was in Walmart, shopping for school supplies, fully aware that it was Valentine’s Day, but not truly caring.  And almost as if they were coming in via conveyor belt, I saw one older guy after another scanning the Valentine’s aisle, searching for flowers, candy and stuffed animals.  Poor fellas.  I’m sure there were tons of other things they could have been doing, but if they don’t put out the money for this day (and some have to put out a lot of money), they’ll never hear the end of it.

In my humble opinion, the truth is that if you show your affection every day, then Valentine’s Day won’t have to mean so much.  Don’t get me wrong.  You don’t have to buy your woman flowers and candy every day.  I would never condemn Earth’s men to that fate.  What I am talking about, are the little things.  The little things are often what makes life worth living. For example, I love ice.  I would rather eat a cup of ice than drink a soda, drink juice, drink anything for that matter.  So we go through a lot of ice at my house.  And furthermore, we have to manually fill the ice trays and sometimes I forget to perform this task.  A little thing that brings me joy, is when my man fills these trays without my asking; and even if I do ask, the fact that he does it for me, makes me happy.

Now I’m sure many of you are thinking, “Ice??”  She must be a cheap date.  And to that I say, Ha Ha Ha.  Very funny.  Anyway.  It’s all about dismissing false pretenses, and getting to the root of what makes you and your significant other happy.  If you like buying gifts for your girl or guy, and don’t feel obligated to do so just because you engage in coitus on a regular basis, then have it.  Do what you enjoy.  But if your driving force is, if I don’t get them something, they’ll never shut up, it may be time for some re-evaluation.  (Hmm, that may be too harsh…)  It may be time to talk about what’s truly important… (Yeah, that’s better.)

A long time ago, I asked my boyfriend’s mother, what she and her husband were doing for Valentine’s Day, and she said nothing.  At a certain point, you just don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day.  Being a teenager at the time, I thought that sounded terrible.  But now that I am more than two decades removed from the questions, with a house and a child with that same boyfriend; it’s best to focus on the things that count.  I don’t care whether or not he bought me flowers, I care that he was the first person to change our daughter’s diaper, when I was post-op and couldn’t even stand on my own;  or making hot tea for me, when the cold winter air sends me into a coughing fit.

Valentine’s Day is one day a year.  For that reason, it shouldn’t mean more, it should mean less.  Show your love and gratitude every day and that way, you won’t have any regrets.

 

-If you have enjoyed my commentary or my short stories, then please check out my youtube channel, The Wicked Orchard; where you can listen to me read my short stories

-And don’t forget to check out Comparative Reasoning here on wordpress for written commentary on a whole hosts of topics.

-If you’d rather listen than read, definitely check out Comparative Reasoning on youtube, where you’ll hear of earful of social, economic and political commentary.