I often speak about what we, as humans, can do to better ourselves, because I think that self-evolution is the final goal, or in my opinion, I think it should be. But the duality of life makes it hard to be positive. It makes it hard to rise above and evolve.
The duality of life I speak of, is between positivity and pain.
Humans seem to be hardwired to either distribute pain or absorb it. The tiniest slight, wrong, betrayal or even disagreement, is internalized and tagged for future use. Whether that use, is to lash out at others, or just for a reason to hurt later on. Hurt and pain burrows into our beings like chiggers; latching on like a tick, and holding on for dear life, gnawing and hurting, just waiting for the opportunity the regurgitate its venom into our systems to poison us all over again.
There’s rarely an antidote. Sometimes, it seems there is not enough warmth, honesty or love to flush our systems clean. That hurt and pain travels through us, encapsulated, waiting for the proper conditions to release; throwing us right back into the origins of that pain, whether it were two days ago or two decades ago.
Let us not forget distributing pain. There are no lack of practitioners of this fine art; whether they do so as a side effect of their own burrowing pain, or if their reasoning is just the sheer joy of hurting others. This all leads to why? Why must we hurt others intentionally and why must we hold on to the hurt for so long and so desperately? It makes us fearful, sometimes paranoid and halts our evolution; deadening out mental, emotional, social and even financial progress.
Why can’t positivity root itself so deeply into our minds and hearts?
Kind, uplifting words, warm feelings, pleasant memories… They never stay. They drift through our lives, like transcended spirits floating through the aether, or like the florets of a dandelion, dancing effortlessly on the wind, just out of our grasp.
Wisps of joy constantly swallowed in a tsunami of anger and misery. Sometimes pain and anger are so pervasive that happiness is seen as unnatural, suspicious or just plain annoying.
One answer is that some people are more hard wired to internalize pain than others. Others will be hurt brutally and open their hearts to be damaged all over again. Striving to fall somewhere in the middle is always good. Don’t open yourself up to be the eternal victim, but do not be so guarded that you cannot trust or experience joy.
I was feeling kind of aggravated and low when I initiated this post several days ago. And although the emotions driving its creation have faded, the point of it still rings true. Our long lives are really short; some shorter than others; as bad as the wrongs of the past hurt, they should not dictate your future. Now, I am not saying to let go of every transgression, and live and let live; what I am saying is hold on to the positive memories stronger. Let those happy feelings etch themselves in your psyche and create pathways of joy and positivity. Let them rise up and be the peaks of your daily existence, while the pain flows silently in the valleys. Quiet and with little influence over the now.